Why wont I just let go

Why is it times like this, I find the need to dwell on the past?

Dwell on the things that could have been, on missed opportunities, on things that will never be?

I still wonder what happened to make you change your mind about me.

Was I too much?

But all I know is that I miss this.

I finally was able to get over you after all these weeks. 

But after that exam and the way you ignored me, it reopened wounds that I thought would remain closed.

I tried to be your friend. And I truly did.

I understand entirely if you don't have feelings for me. But is it really that hard to just be like the way before?

Before feelings got mixed up.

Though driving home after the gym tonight, it got me thinking. 

Thinking about how I pushed away everyone that cares for me, in order to be part of a friendship group that does not care for me.

Why is it that I do so?

I pushed away everyone in order to become closer to you. But what for?

I have Maryanne and Monica, people who really do care for me.

Kathy told me the other day at work, that my problem is that I'm too giving. That I need to learn to give less.