Belonging

Sometimes I look back and really wonder how life would be like if I never moved houses.

I came from the west side, where everything was so much more dangerous and sketchy. I have been living in the eastern suburbs for almost 10 years now and though the area is nice and classy, I can't help but feel like I do not belong here.

I scroll through the newsfeed of facebook and all the people I were friends with in primary school are all great friends now.

They have formed friendships with many others and go on constant adventures.

Whereas here I sit, not exactly fitting into any particular social group.

I love all that I have met and the moments I have experienced since moving. But there is a part of me which yearns to have my own sort of 'possy'.

Those I have met and come across over the years have shown me all that I have missed out on. Coming from an asian background and going to school where you were one of the only ones that were not white was hard. Even though everyone embraced the idea of becoming my friend, they never really wanted anything more than that of the social interaction at school.

Why must I be so hard to befriend.

If my parents were that much more lenient, maybe I could have gone out on my own to find what I'm looking for.

I know that wouldn't have been a great idea and I would have become the devil child. But does that really matter if that allows me to find myself and be with those who are very like minded?

I guess I'll never find out. My teenage years are behind me and I didn't take the opportunities given to me.

There are so many regrets in which I cannot do anything about except ignore and hope to God it would disappear.