Letting go

Letting go was not as hard as I thought it would be.

Going away to Europe and experiencing a nightmare of an experience with someone I call a 'friend' really opened my eyes to the people in my life.

So call friends.

It lead me to the realisation that half the people I call my friends are not people I want to keep around in my life.

Solitude and loneliness no longer scares me.

I'd rather be alone than be around people who will walk all over me because it is convenient to them.

I pushed you away as you did me. Only then did I realise the real reason as to why you kept me around.

Sex.

I was just always an object of sexual release for you. No emotions, no attachments, just someone you could fuck and make do with.

If being a shit friend means I will no longer tolerate and allow you to fuck me. Then by all means I am the worst person on this earth.

I just want my bike back. I don't want excuses. I don't want you part of my life. I don't want you to tell me you haven't seen me in a while because you want sex.

There was a reason you unfriended me, you were too childish to actually have a conversation about what you do and do not want.

Makes me think that Khang is actually a more decent human being than you will ever be. He at least had the nerve to tell me he just wanted to be friends with benefits. Whereas you toyed with my heart. My mind. My body.
He at least took me on a date and payed for dinner. He was nice.

Funny how things can change a persons outlook on things.

I have found someone who encourages me to do well.

Helps me out when I struggle.

Makes me laugh when you make me cry.

Genuinely wants to talk to me and enjoys the comfort of my company.


Only problem now is that he is way out of my league and will never notice someone as fucked up as me.

I've let you go, now it's time you let go of the idea of using me.

Let me go so I can fully feel happy again.

So that I never have to hear from you, on how worthless and unattractive you find me.